


I Found Myself Dreaming (In Silver and Gold)

by coatlicue



Category: Riverdale (TV 2017)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, F/F, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Soulmates, Very minimal canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-17
Updated: 2017-11-17
Packaged: 2019-02-03 12:30:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,911
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12748350
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/coatlicue/pseuds/coatlicue
Summary: "Veronica Lodge," she says, "I've heard whisperings."Then she makes eye-contact with her and the world fades into pastels. It takes her a second to recognize what's going on, having spent most of her life with the ability to see color and only a few weeks without it.-Or, me taking my stab at the 'you see color when you meet your soulmate trope' and kind of running with it.





	I Found Myself Dreaming (In Silver and Gold)

A week after Jason escaped, presumably to a better life on the other side of Sweetwater River, everything Cheryl saw became dull and painful. All the colors that used to dance behind Cheryl's eyelids faded to various shades of grey. And the thing was, Cheryl didn't even know she _could_ see color. Not until it was ripped from her.

When she realized what it meant, she wanted to laugh at the irony of it. It was so like her to be born with the innate ability to see in color. So like her to not know about it until her soulmate died.

Because, see, most kids in Riverdale start to see color in elementary school. Jason came home on the first day of kindergarten demanding to know what the color of the sky was because it matched Polly's eyes.

Of course, Penelope and Clifford couldn't tell him.

But Cheryl? Cheryl waited, and waited, and waited. She prayed for years that someone would breeze through and have her see something different. Eventually she got accustomed to the idea that her soulmate wasn't here. According to her mother, they probably didn't exist. Because not even the universe could find someone to love her.

She didn't know she was loved until it was too late.

And now, Jason was gone, and she would never see color again.

It was kind of poetic. That the only person who had ever been kind to her took a piece of her with him when he left. Gave her answers in passing. However, having her twin be her soulmate meant her soulmate wasn't romantic. Meaning, she would probably never be loved in that way at all.

Meaning, Penelope was right.

The days after Jason's passing kind of blur together, the absolute dullness of it making it impossible to distinguish one from the other. It's a lot of fake sympathy from her 'friends' and rumors flying about how she probably had something to do with it.

Sometimes it becomes too much.

And then, school starts. She hears about a new girl, some ex-socialite fallen from grace (or New York) into Riverdale. It seems like the perfect opportunity for her to get her mind off things the way she used to, bringing chaos around just for the hell of it.

So, she struts to the table where new-girl Lodge sits with good-girl Betty and too-gay-to-function Kevin like she owns the school.

"Veronica Lodge," she says, "I've heard whisperings."

Then she makes eye-contact with her and the world fades into pastels. It takes her a second to recognize what's going on, having spent most of her life with the ability to see color and only a few weeks without it.

_Holy shit,_ she thinks. Cheryl's eyes go wide for a little as she takes Veronica in. She recognizes the color of her eyes as brown, her skin a lighter hue of the same, her hair dark.

Then she hears her mother's voice, echoing in her head: _"Nobody is going to love you,"_ and forces herself to tear her eyes away from Veronica.

"I'm Cheryl Blossom. Can I sit?" she says, and forces herself to forget all about the fact that she can see color again. Because then she'd have to deal with what it means.

It's practically unheard of to have two soulmates. Most people see in black and white from the moment their soulmate dies until they do. It was hard for Cheryl not to feel like she was betraying Jason somehow, by getting the same thing that he gave her from somewhere else.

Maybe it was her reward, the price the universe had to pay for not letting her be loved back. She gets to see color twice but she won't get a reciprocal soulmate. It hardly seems fair.

It's cheer tryouts and Cheryl tries to not let her eyes lock onto the brown skin directly beneath Veronica's shorts or the exposed neck that seems to beckon out to her. She tries not to stare at the ruby red lipstick spread over her lips.

She knows none of it will be hers to keep.

_Nobody will ever love you._

"Where's the heat?" She asks, pretending that she doesn't feel like she's burning from the inside out, "Where's the sizzle?"

Then Veronica grabs Betty, and their lips are pressed against each other, and Cheryl cannot breathe. _Yes,_ she thinks, _happiness is not yours to hold._ Something green and ugly takes hold of Cheryl and she turns to Betty. She rips her to shreds, pretending she doesn't see her fingernails digging into her palms.

Then Veronica turns to her, and rips her to shreds, too. Cheryl crosses her legs tighter, ignoring the way Veronica's words send an ache straight down to the place where her thighs meet.

She's lost this battle. If there's one thing Penelope has taught Cheryl, it's how to accept defeat.

An hour later Cheryl stands in front of the small mirror on the inside of her locker door. The bright red color on her lips makes her feel queasy. Unsafe. She grabs a makeup wipe from the inside of her locker and wipes it off her lips.

Suddenly, she feels like crying.

All the feelings she's been pushing down about Jason come up in a series of short bursts, and Cheryl can't breathe. Can't think. All she can see is the imprint of Jason's face in her mind, seconds before she rowed him across the river to his death. (Red).

Her back hits the locker behind her and she falls to the ground, ignoring the way the rough metal scrapes her skin. She tries to breathe, tries to get everything under control, tries to compose herself.

But it's all too much. Jason's death, losing color and gaining it back all in the span of a month, not knowing what this new girl's arrival means for her... her life is a series of jumps from tragedy to tragedy and it leaves her with no room to breathe.

Cheryl registers a door open behind her, but she doesn't really think about it too much, too busy trying to stay afloat.

She screws her eyes shut and ignores the feeling of tears spilling out of the corners.

"Cheryl?" She hears, and the voice echoes throughout her skull. She tries to look at the source of the voice, but she still can't really breathe. She hears someone crouch down next to her and take her hand.

"Cheryl? Hey, what's going on?"

Cheryl shakes her head. She can't say anything. Can't really think. This must be what dying feels like.

"Okay. Okay. Um, here." She feels a soft hand on her back. It feels so gentle, reminds her of Jason and the way he would hold her after rough nights with her parents. The thought only makes her breathing quicken.

"Breathe, Cheryl. Easy. It's okay." She recognizes the voice as Veronica's, and it immediately calms her down. She can't explain why or how, but knowing the soft hand on her back is hers makes her feel loved. Her ragged breathing slows and Veronica crouches in front of her to push a stray hair out of her face and behind her ear.

"What happened?" Veronica asks.

Cheryl locks her eyes with the floor. She catches a wrapper-- Three Musketeers, maybe-- stuck in the corner of the room. "I'm sorry."

"Don't apologize for having a panic attack, Cheryl."

"My brother's dead." The redhead confesses.

Veronica squeezes her shoulder. "I heard."

"I figured you had. Even the walls talk in this truck-stop town."

"If it's any consolation, I don't believe the words of walls. I'd rather hear it from you, if you're willing to share."

And maybe it was the kindness of this girl who gifted her the ability to see in color again, or the attractiveness of sharing Jason with someone who had no preconceived ideas about the nature of their relationship, but when Veronica extended the olive branch, Cheryl couldn't help but reach back.

"Jason was my best friend. The only one who really understood me, the only one who cared. He spent his whole life trying to protect me. He was the only one who knew what it was like to live in that house, with those parents." Cheryl gulped, "And now that he's gone, I'm alone. I am truly and utterly alone."

It surprises Cheryl how much Veronica's demeanor softens. "You're not alone."

Cheryl scoffs.

Veronica bumps shoulders with her, "You have me now."

Cheryl can't resist. She wraps her hand around Veronica's and intertwines their fingers, "Thank you."

"There's something I want to talk to you about," Veronica says. "Something I've been wanting to talk to you about since we met."

"Veronica..." Cheryl knows where this is going. She tries to backpedal before the conversation gets to a place impossible to get back from.

"No, Cheryl. I don't want to dance around something we _both_ know needs to be talked about. So let's just be adults about this, please."

"I-"

"I know you saw it, Cheryl. When you met me, I saw it in your face."

Cheryl feels a tightness build in her chest. _She knows._ Then she hears her mother's voice ringing in her ear, _"Nobody will ever love you, Cheryl."_ Tears start to build in her eyes again but she blinks them away.

"I saw them, too."

At that, Cheryl's heart does a double-take. "W-what?"

"My world lit up when I met you, Cheryl. I didn't want to say anything... in case... in case it wasn't real."

"I'm-I thought it wasn't possible."

Veronica's eyebrows furrow, "What?"

"I thought it wasn't possible that I would be loved back."

"Cheryl..."

"Jason was my soulmate, too." Cheryl pauses when she sees Veronica's eyes widen, "Not like that, despite what all the living manequinns at this school may think. I didn't know until... until he died and all the colors fled. His soulmate was Polly. That's kind of why I ripped into Betty so hard about it. I thought he was the only one who would ever love me, and all of a sudden he was gone."

"I'm sorry, Cheryl."

"But then you come along and my world erupts into color again, not even a full month after it faded to grey, and it just feels like a cruel prank. I feel like the universe is testing me and the other shoe is going to drop any minute."

Veronica places one hand on either side of Cheryl's jaw. "I'm not going anywhere, if that's what you're worried about. I am so excited to get to know you, Cheryl Blossom. Because... well, you're it for me."

"Ronnie, you make me feel alive. When I'm with you, I feel this pull-- and all the little holes in my heart feel like they're starting to close but I- you have to know what you're getting into with me."

"Oh Cherry Bombshell, I wouldn't underestimate me. I'm more than certain I can handle you."

Veronica smirks, and Cheryl smiles back.

And the world slows around them for a second, stops spinning on it's axis-- Cheryl's sure-- just to witness this moment. When their lips touch the world explodes metallic under Cheryl's eyelids, a technicolor dream she is more than happy to hold again. She feels a soft hand in her hair and pulls away to look at Veronica in the eyes and smile.

_Yes,_ Cheryl thinks, _this is what it must feel like to be loved._


End file.
